Slow Metamorphosis

Farewell Slow Meta

2006-08-26T10:21:00.000-04:00

I just came back from a fabulous vaction/family reunion in Jamaica. I had such a good time. My friend Reenie came with me and we had such a blast. I was kinda nervous cuz I have gone on a vacation with friends and for one reason or the other ended up coming back not being friends with them afterwards. A little part of me felt like maybe that would happen. but it didnt. I think I can say Reenie and I are closer now than when we left. She got along with all my family and they loved her. telling her she was a complimentary family member and they want to see her at all the other family functions in the future. We went to the club, we chilled on the beach and we spent the majority of the time while we there LAUGHING. My uncle Roger even said to us that everytime he saw us we were laughing and he wanted to be let in on the joke. :-)

Anyway I've gotten alot of emails and notes from folk who read this asking where the hell I've been and if I am ok. Well I am good guys. Thanks so much for the concern. This will be my last post on this blog. I have been toying with shutting it down for awhile. I will leave the link open but I will no longer be posting here. I met so many fabulous folk on here, people I wouldnt have met under normal circumstances and I will take that with me.

I've learned so much about myself these last 2 months. I have always known what type of person I am. I know what I will take and what I want. I dont make any apologies for who I am. I always tell people how I am. It is your choice whether or not you would like to deal with me. When I am friends with you...I will do anything for you. And it's never easy to find people who are true friends to the end who will accept you with faults and flaws. I think folk expect you to be perfect even when they far from perfection themselves. I need progression in my life. I need people around me who know who they are and what they want and are working on themselves at all time. Life is constantly changing and I dont want to be standing still. I know what I need to work on....and I am working on it. I hope you guys continue to progress and evolve.

I wish you guys all the best

It's Only Tuesday but I'm ready...

2006-06-27T22:43:00.000-04:00

...for the weekend. Last weekend I did nothing but sleep...like some serious downhome sleeping. I felt so good, because it was raining and I just wanted to be snuggled up under some sheets. This weekend I have a 4 day weekend and I can't even tell you I am so READY! I want to go to the Internationa.l Afri.can Ar.ts Fest.ival in Brook.lyn and Com.modore Barry Park, and a friend of mine is supposed to be here this weekend so that should be fun and just a whole lot of hanging out and having fun. Work is work - I have a deadline....as usual so I cant be worried about that right now. Im just trying to not stress about that too much.

So as for the myspace...msnhim I couldnt get to your page it kept giving me some funky error message. Can you email it to me please? Thanks! I'm too excited about it though cuz I found so many people that I havent seen in ages and it's cool to reconnect and see how they are doing. I just have to turn down my speakers because everyone has a song blasting and GC you are so right about the flashing lights the bells and whistles... that is a bit annoying.

What are your plans for the long holiday? Anyone getting into any trouble?

MYSPACE

2006-06-22T09:03:00.000-04:00

I have officially been introduced to myspace. WHY OH WHY?? My friend Yve is like Girl errbody from UB (college) is on there...and you have to join. So I do, and now I'm like damn how does this thing work. Any tips? Anyone have myspace and wanna be my friend :-P

The Change

2006-06-21T15:34:00.000-04:00

Yeah so I had to put the pictures up here. I wanted to share my hairstory aside from on my hair journal. The first pic was in September of last year - it was the last time I cut my hair and the second pic is from this weekend. Yeah my naps are growing.

My update

2006-06-21T15:12:00.000-04:00

It’s been awhile since I posted last and so much as been going on --- I wont rattle on and on but last week was good to me – ok maybe I will rattle on. I went for a nice facial with my coworker. It was at a spa where you gotta strip down and lay in a darkened room with harps or some stuff playing overhead. It was very relaxing and well worth it. Then Friday I organized a bowling happy hour to depart from the traditional drink till you fall over happy hours we are accustomed to. It was nice and I had so much fun. We took pics but it appears most pics were of people’s rear ends….lol go figure.

Yeah thats my butt by the way.....

Saturday I went to the baby shower/bbq/backyard gathering and it was nice, I ate, I laughed I had an all around good time. I was supposed to go to the Raheem Devaughnn concert this week but I waited too long and then the tickets were sold out – ain’t that a blip. I was also supposed to go to MD/DC this weekend but unfortunately I won’t be able to go because my travel partner has cancelled, so alas no trip this weekend.

On a sad note Sunday I went to the hospital. My friend Reenie is in the hospital and that makes me so sad, she is doing better now, I am hoping they will release her soon. I am going to visit her again today but when I went on Sunday she was really weak and could barely stay awake. I am glad she is doing better but I just want her out of there.

Ding Dong

2006-06-14T09:13:00.000-04:00

I forgot to write this yesterday but my roomie from college and her boyfriend – lets call them Jules and FS got engaged on Saturday!!!. I was so excited for her. Saturday made her 6 year anniversary and she has been waiting for this for the longest. On that note – why is it that whenever you go to your friends house their parents always feel the need to ask you – “so when are you getting married?” Um I don’t know. Jeez – the pressure. Is it really necessary? My aunts and family members do the same thing too… its like yeah ask the person who will be doing the asking.

On another note, have you been watching the news lately and the reports of all the fraud committed by people filing claims for Katrina funds? They say that the money dispersed has been anywhere from 600million to 1.4 billion! I was floored. They claim that a guy in Texas used the money to get a sex change operation! People used the debit cards for Caribbean vacations, diamonds, jewelry, and porn among other things. I am sorry but this boils my blood for real. Like WTF is anybody paying attention? And why is it that now after the money is spent and the people who really NEED the money are still struggling because they barely got enough money to sustain them. It’s always after the fact that an investigation gets done. God forbid you actually check these things out before hand!

Weekend of Leisure

2006-06-13T08:46:00.000-04:00

This weekend was a good weekend. Friday started my summer hours so I was out of her at 12 on the dot. My coworker and I went to the gym and took an ab class --- can we say pain. Lol. Saturday I went to church, then went to my friend A’s baby shower. I had so much fun – it’s hard to believe that I have known her for 10 years and that she is having her 3rd child. It’s like whoa – where did the time go! L came and got me from the shower and we went to Jersey to meet his friends. They invited us to go to a Turkish restaurant and since I was planning on taking him out for his birthday anyway – it all worked out. The food was excellent – I mean lamb that literally melts in your mouth and they had a belly dancer too which was cool. She came over to our table and tried to get L to dance but he wouldn’t go even though I encouraged him to. He claims he isn’t trying to get in trouble…yeah ok!. Afterwards we went back to my house and fell into deep sleep…I never slept so well. Sunday- I did ABSOLUTELY nothing. Except wash a few dishes and I washed and styled my hair—that was it. Monday back at the grind – my boss is back from her vacation so everything just fell right back into place.

Urkel aint dead - it was a hoax - and a bad one at that

2006-06-07T10:39:00.000-04:00

So today we were to have a huge meeting with one of our biggest clients to get them to use our services for their catalog. I got all dressed in my powersuit – did the fro up nicely wore heels and makeup – the whole nine. And they cancelled! I really hope it’s not cuz of the rain but at least I can get some work done today instead of being in a meeting half the morning.

Today my coworker and I are going to do the power workout! We are doing a total body class and then right after we are taking a hip hop funk class YEA MAN! I can’t wait.

The next few weeks are going to fun – this weekend my friend is having a baby shower, she is having her third little munchkin and her best friend is throwing her a “surprise” shower – yeah it’s not really that much of a surprise because she knows about it. Lol. Sunday is L’s 30th birthday so I have something planned for him. Next week I scheduled a deep pore facial with 2 of my coworkers and then I am hosting a bowling happy hour for our book being sent to print and another coworker’s birthday. Then there is father’s day to consider. Rah.eem Devau.ghn whose album I just got is going to be performing at SOB’s on the 20th and I am seriously contemplating going. The 23rd I am going to MD to visit my friend who came here memorial weekend. I just finalized those plans with my friend this morning so it’s all a go. Then my trip for Jamaica is in august and I have to finish paying the hotel fee – which has to be done by the end of this month….and what’s good is that my friend Reenie is coming with me on my family reunion, so at least I will have a friend there to bug out with. We were going to go to Chicago for the 4th of July again this year but decided against it, since we are going to Jamaica in august, but its all good.

Right now at this moment, I am in a good place….things are busy but work is not really overwhelming right now. And all the other little issues are working themselves out.

Oh by the way… so yesterday after I posted the article about Jaleel White, I heard on the radio that it is a hoax. That really SUX!!!! Why would anyone make up a story about that?? That is SO not funny.

Urkel is Dead?

2006-06-06T09:52:00.000-04:00

Did anyone else here this?

LOS ANGELES, California (AP)

--Jaleel White, who played 'nerdy'neighbor Steve Urkel on "FamilyMatters" found dead Monday.
He was 29 years old.

White was pronounced dead on arrival after admission to an LA hospitalearly Monday morning. The death is being investigated as a suicide.

Born Jaleel Ahmad White, he began his career at the age of three acting in television commercials, before landing guest spots on shows such as"The Jeffersons" and "Mr. Belvedere." It was in 1989 that White landed the role that would make him famous, playing wacky neighbor 'SteveUrkel' on the ABC program "Family Matters."

Following the cancellation of "Family Matters" in 1997, friends claim White became obsessed with the character, and grew despondent, despite further successes as star and producer of the UPN sitcom "Grownups", and as a writer for NBA.com Neighbor and friend, Bradley Spencer alerted police after hearing what he described as "a loud bang" coming from White's Los Angeles apartment.Authorities state that upon entering the home they discovereda young African-American male with an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. Also found was a note, which read simply "Did I do that?", a popular catch phrase from the show."

Jaleel was an uncommonly good man, an exceptional role model and agreat comedic actor," said William Bickley, who created the series, and Thomas L. Miller, one of the executive producers, in a joint statement."We feel privileged to have known him and worked with him. He'll be missed and remembered every day by his many, many friends," they said.

Actress Kellie Williams -- Laura Winslow on the series -- described White as a consummate professional actor. "Everyone adored him," she said.

"We have all lost a dear, dear brother," said Reginald VelJohnson, who played Carl Winslow.White, an only child, is survived by "cousins, aunts, uncles, and wonderful friends," Bickley said.

OMG it's JUNE ALREADY!

2006-06-05T09:04:00.000-04:00

So much has been going on the past few weeks…

Last week for the 3 day weekend – my friend came down from MD and all of the old crew hung out together. It was 4 of us all went to high school together and were a part of what we called “the breakfast club”. And as it all turns out we are all afro rocking natural beauties now…go figure. I didn’t even know she was growing out her hair until she got here. We went to the BAM Dance Africa Festival in BK, which was awesome. They had African dance shows in the street along with the drumming and the vendors out selling their wares, not to mention a whole bunch of nappy black folk which put me in heaven. We talked so much that I barely had a voice left on Tuesday, and then hanging out all hours of the night had me coming down with something and I was all jacked up on Tuesday so I had to call out sick. The work week went as normal – stress stress and some more stress.

This weekend I did a whole lot of cleaning and finally managed to do my own hair for a change. I have to post some pics to the hair section of this blog. Gotta update it’s been so long. This week my boss is out – she is lamping in Puerto Rico, which I am totally hating on. One of our biggest accounts is coming in this week so I have to get together some sort of presentation to get this new business. Last week was L and I’s 3 year anniversary…scary aint it. This week my summer hours begin – M-T 8:30-5:30 and Friday 8:30-12. I love it! Anyway its been so I have to make my rounds and catch up with all the bloggies I haven’t had a chance to read.

What do you think?

2006-05-21T08:42:00.000-04:00

It was time for a new look. I have been wanting to update this thing for the longest but just never got around to it. So here is my new template. What do you think?

I've been gone for about a week now and I am still alive and still kicking. Thank you all to the people who emailed me and called and showed genuine concern. I am really ok. I was just going throught it at the time, I wanted to vent. I fought with coming back and changing my post because after I wrote it, I thought geez people are going to take this all wrong. But then I decided not to change it. This blog is supposed to be about me venting - putting what I want down and so I left the post up.

This week has been crazy. Our book finally went to print and it was late not really due to any fault of our own but it's hard to get a book out when your production department is missing a person and when that person is in, she is gone early. What can you do. I have been feeling really overwhlemed...with all the project being dumped in my departments lap and I think that my boss finally did see it so she is working with me. I was actually planning on talking to her about it but she got to me before I could get to her and then she told me that I needed a day off. Shucks You aint said nothing but a word! So Friday, I took the day off and I got so much done I was like YEAH! I got up took some pictures of a street that I got a ticket on. I had to prove there were no no parking signs on the street - such a waste of time but the judge who I saw threw it out because he knew the neighborhood where I got the ticket very well. I was like yes judge that's exactly where it is! I walked out of there like yea son! I went to the gym worked it out, sat in the sauna and sweated it out and then showered and dressed and went to get a manicure and pedicure. It wasnt crowded at all because it was pouring rain on and off which was great for me. Then I came home and cleaned up my room and saturday I vegetated. I handed in an application last week for a co-op as well, and I am also about to apply for an apartment in BK - probably sharing with my sister. We talked about it yesterday and she is all excited. I think it might work. I just had to tell her please understand and respect how I am and I will do the same for you. So whichever place comes through first I am out my parents house. With either one of these I can still save my money to purchase my home later so thats not totally out the picture just put on the burner for now. Needless to say I am feeling good. It's early sunday morning and I am about to get up and go to work, get some stuff done before my bookclub meeting at 3:45. We are going to see the Davinci Code as a group and possible stop for a bite to eat afterward. I can't wait to see the movie, I read the book and loved it so hopefully the movie lives up to my expectations.

I designed some shirts that I want to wear this summer that will deal with my hair - ya know. What do you think?

Front

and then the back says hair

Anyway I have blathered enough. I am out of here!

You tried it your way - why not try God?

2006-05-13T10:58:00.000-04:00

I have been really struggling all week with whether or not I want to keep this blog up. I have gone a few times to shut it down but just didn’t have the heart. And then at work a coworker sent me an email telling me that she started reading my blog from the beginning and needless to say her kind words got me misty eyed. I keep thinking what my intention was when I started, I wanted to be honest and just have a place where I can put my thoughts down and vent. But now my anonymity is out the window as I have met a few bloggers in person and people who I know outside of the blog world read my blog, and when the anonymity went so did my ability to say what I really felt. I want to reclaim that. Take back my “saywhatIwantatude” I know that’s not a word but I made it up. So here it goes

I just got off the phone with my brother, I find that when I am stressing or when I am going through some things that he is my best sounding board. And as always when I talk to him I am a sobbing mess, and I never have to tell him what’s wrong because he always knows. I have some serious issues with Trust. Its like a 4 letter word – its dirty. Trusting anyone is the hardest thing in life for me. I don’t tell anyone anything that I feel because I don’t trust what they will do with the things I tell them. I have had people use what I tell them and try to throw it in my face, so to avoid that I tell them nothing other than surface shit. I can be going through hell emotionally – and no one knows. I don’t call a girlfriend and say let me tell you what’s wrong with me, it’s just not in me to do that anymore. In relationships, it’s the hardest thing for me to let go and love someone because I always feel like they are going to hurt me – whether it be by cheating or lying or just doing some stuff that will break my already fragile heart. And so without me having to say what the issue was my big bro dug into the heart of the matter and told me that I have to break down my walls or it will kill me. Who told him that I contemplated suicide? Who told him I picked up the knife and pressed it to my wrist or took up the bottle of pills and slept with them? The only thing that saved my life was the knowledge that committing murder is a sin and I will go to hell because of it and that’s a fate I can’t condemn myself to. He tells me that I have to break down my walls, that while I have this wall up to protect myself from people, the wall also doesn’t allow anyone in. When the hell did he get so damn smart?
The weight can be so heavy sometimes that I just want to put it down , so that I rest a little while– I want to let it go but I don’t know how to. And he says Nikki – you have tried it your way why don’t you try God?

Around My Way

2006-05-05T12:16:00.000-04:00

It's such beautiful day in the city - the weather is so nice and it is days like this when I am happy to be alive and happy to be here. And it's also days like this when I see the dispair about me - the sickness, the sadness, the pain and the suffering and it just makes my heart so heavy. With that being said, there are so many artists whose words cut to the heart like a knife and they DO NOT get the play like they should. I have this song on repeat today - so I wanted to share it.

Around My Way"
(feat. John Legend)

[Chorus]
Around my way...
Around my way...
All the corners filled with sorrow
All the streets are filled with pain
Around my way...

Around my way...
Around my way...
All the corners filled with sorrow
All the streets are filled with pain
Around my way...

[1st Verse]
People let me paint a picture
You know I ain't a christian
I ain't a muslim, ain't a jew
I'm losing my religion
I speak to god directly
I know my god respect me
Cause he let me breathe his air and he really blessed me
I ain't knocking you, but I don't fuck with hospitals
Spit the gospel, truly knowing jesus like apostles do
Return like the prodigal son to honor Mohammed too
Stay away from ham like Abraham, Lord'll follow you
Even when you took my man Chaka God and what I'm a do
You gave the hood a modern day martyr in Brother Amadou
I'm on the block, I'm tracing your footsteps, I keep the faith in you
Your love, plus hard work and ambition
We gonna make it through, my songs is psalms I'm spiritual when I'm lyrical
This is for my soldier niggaz looking in the mirror who
Sitting home scratching off serials eating cereal
The way we find a way to survive, shit is a miracle
We got mice in the crib and roaches in the toasters, rice in the fridge
Bread in the oven by the roaster
We be takin' gypsy cabs and chasin' 50 bags
They be laced with shitty swag and it really get me mad
The way we saluting flags, wrapping them around our heads
when niggaz ain't become American till 9/11
Feeling like you gotta sneak into heaven
When the reverend looking like a pimp and the pimp look like the reverend

[Chorus]
Around my way...
Around my way...
All the corners filled with sorrow
All the streets are filled with pain
Around my way...

These conditions make us strong
And we create our own businesses so later on
Our children have things in their name that they can say they own
A mix tape freestyle become your favorite song
No place like home when the cops ask you about your neighbors
Beat on you, threaten to incarcerate you
Till you spill your guts like you a Garcia Vega
We roll blunts not the papers
Cop the greatest take it coast to coast
L.A. to Chicago like Smooth Operators
Cop the Dro and cop the blacks
Cop the four, cock it back
Drop the flow, rock a hat on top a stocking cap
Be a doctor or a lawyer or make your momma a promise that
You'll finish school, but when you got a dream you gotta follow that
And make sure when you make it out the hood, you always holler back
Think about what you got from that
And always put your dollars back
On top of that, this is a legacy and we a part of that
The hood is where my heart is at
Catch me around my way

[Chorus]
Around my way...
Around my way...
All the corners filled with sorrow
All the streets are filled with hate
Around my way...

Around my way...
Around my way...
All the corners filled with sorrow
All the streets are filled with pain
Around my way...

The Event I have been wating for

2006-05-04T12:39:00.000-04:00

Ave.da which is a store that I love had their annual earth day sale today. Their headquarters are in my building and every year they have an earth day sale and invite the whole building to attend, it was a pleasant surprise today seeing as though I have been waiting on the sale to stock up on some hair supplies that I was too cheap to by in the store

Sap Moss Conditioner $62-litre
Elixer Leave In Conditioner $9.00
Bixa $16
Sap Moss Shampoo $12
Sap Moss Styling Spray $16.50
Be Curly $17.50
Sap Moss Nourishing Concentrate $18
Brilliant Humectant Pomade $18

Bonus – They had a random Kiss my Face Whenever Shampoo – Grapefruit and Eucalyptus YUM!

I only paid $50 for everything.

Ok Now I have to go back again because my friend asked me to stop in and get some stuff for her too. But really though you just can’t beat those prices.

Back to the Daily Grind

2006-05-03T08:44:00.000-04:00

I am back at work today – sigh. Short break but I feel good today. Luckily, I got my ticket for Jamaica already and I am soooo ready to be on the beach relaxing soon; only 3 months to go and counting. L drove with me to the train station this morning because he is working on the train that I ride, so it was nice to see him off today. So proud of my baby – any who. I am bout to get down to work – nothing new and exciting here – gotta catch up on my blog reading I am so far behind.

How time flies and life gets sweeter

2006-04-30T19:57:00.000-04:00

I'm in rochester visiting Yve...and will be here until tuesday trying to help her with the baby. I tell you when I first met her in school 10 years ago...I aint like her one bit! And I'm not sure how or when it happened but we became cool, probably after I found out she and I were both the same religion. But needless to say I became a staple in rochester during the summers I was here every weekend, I even had my own room. Her parents took care of me and when she comes to the city she stayed with me, but now she is married so she splits her time. We fought (she is argumentative and we both like to have the last word) but we always have remained friends in part she keeps it real. Not like in the typical sense of the word when people feel like they have to keep it real by being mean and to get peope to respect them out of fear... but like she is honest. But in all that time today was the first time I have ever seen her cry and jeez I wanted to bawl with her. It's wierd that over the past few years, since she got married we have become closer. I was themaid of honor at her wedding, the god mother of her child and she is like my bestest friend. Her mom yesterday in the hospital that said something that tripped me out. She said I bet you didnt think when you met Yve that you would be pumping her breast. LOL Nope can't say that I did. I aint even like the girl - but I love her ass now.
And to explain the past statement. I've been helping her with the baby, helping her breast feed and all that and who would have thought that it was going to be that hard. I didnt I tell you that much. Learn something new everyday. Anyway Charmed is one - gots to run but I will add some pics of the baby.

JR is here!!

2006-04-28T09:18:00.000-04:00

hotos1.blogger.com/blogger/1411/800/320/Javier.jpg" border="0" alt="" />
Finally! Yve had her baby yesterday. He was born @ 5:52PM and weighed in at 8 pounds 10 ounces and was 20 ½ inches long. I am heading to Rochester tonight to go see my new god-son, I can’t wait. I wont be back in NY until Tuesday cuz yea it’s a long weekend for me. YAY!
What are you doing for the weekend?

So much to say...

2006-04-26T11:09:00.000-04:00

There is so much that I haven’t been sharing but I don’t think I can backtrack and give everything. I will try though. Work has been nuts. A co-worker friend of mine got fired – canned – it’s just not working out. No warning – no nothing. He has been here for 3 years and just got a recent promotion. Then just like that they let him go. I was so sad…I mean he was the funniest thing and it just didn’t make any sense to me. Then that same morning one of the people on my stuff put in their resignation – and she only gave 2 days notice. Like today is Monday my last day is Wednesday WTF is that?? Outside of work we were cool but as an employee she was kind of working my last nerve. But another friend says I should understand she doesn’t really have computer skills, so its hard for her…so ok. I guess. But the 2 day waning was totally wack. Totally WACK! Then that Wednesday my sister went into the hospital. We were in the middle of some crap at work but I ended up having to work that weekend because my co-workers were the BOMB and they helped by doing the majority of my work for me which was so awesome. Needless to say we made our deadline and we sent our first set of pages to the printer right on time yesterday so I couldn’t be happier.
L started his first week of training at his new gig. He is working for NY MTA and I am so proud of my baby. Yve is in the hospital as we speak giving birth to her first child. They induced her this morning so little Javier will soon be here and I am going to Rochester on Friday to see my first god-son. I can’t wait to see his little face. I am gone for now. I will be back tomorrow. I have mucho reading to catch up on.

Update

2006-04-19T10:05:00.000-04:00

copied from flickr

This morning I woke up and outside in the backyard I noticed something white that appeared to be hovering over the ground. When I went out I realized that it was a perfect white flower, pushing its way from out of the earth in the wake of all this warm weather we have been having. As I drove to work it hit me that all the trees seem to be in bloom as well. Where have I been all this time? I love the spring and the warm weather, I even like the rainy days but I was letting it go by un-noticed.

My mother always used to tell my sister and I that there was a season for everything under the sun, and it’s true. My sister is doing well, she had some fluid around her heart and her lungs and a mass in her stomach, for now they don’t have any solid diagnosis as to what the mass is, but she is out of the hospital and they are still running tests. Thank you all for your prayers and your kind words.

Yve is about to pop any second now. She is having like mini contractions already and she is no fun :-) in fact she is quite miserable. Butthe labor will soon be over and life with the baby will soon begin. I can't wait to see his little face.

What can...Usually Does

2006-04-06T09:46:00.000-04:00

Wrong.

I just wanted to let you guys know that my little sister Kimmy is in the hospital. I want you to keep her in your prayers.

I will be back soon.

Ewww

2006-03-31T16:27:00.000-05:00

I just got back in the office. We are having our convention at the Ja.cob Ja.vits so on the big big dress down Friday – I’m in a freaking suit. That sucks. But oh well. I came in to work early to finish up some stuff and then went to the ja.vits and worked there for half the day and then came back into the office to give evaluations to my team. I think I was fair on my evaluations, I made sure to put everything on there, I left nothing out and if you thought you were getting away with it, you aren’t. So needless to say I still have 2 more evals to do on Monday but thus far everybody that I did a review for did say that I was fair and that everything that was on there was something they knew. I hope that this means they will meat the goals I set for them for the coming year. Next week is going to be really hectic for me. I will probably doing some late nights and working next weekend as well. I have a few deadlines to make so hopefully it will all go well.
In a moment of pure randomness I just have to say, why are women so freaking nasty. The women’s bathroom at my job has to be the nastiest place on earth. I went to use the bathroom and noticed period blood all over a roll of toilet paper (no one wants to touch that shit), shit stains all on the toilet and under the rim, can people not flush? I am just totally disgusted.
This weekend – I want to go see the movie with Denzil, Saturday night I am going out for dinner with my 2 oldest friends from H.S. and Sunday unfortunately I have to work the convention again – eww. So basically the next few weekends aren’t going to be anything to write home about. Yve’s baby is due soon so I have to make that trip up to Rochester again soon. Ohh I can’t wait to see the baby’s little face.

PMS'ing SUCKS Rotten Balls from Hell

2006-03-29T09:28:00.000-05:00

I love being a woman except when I am pms’ing.

My moods change with the wind. One second I am happy and shit and the next I am so pissed off and then right after I want to cry. Then to top it off, I crave the weirdest combination of foods. Cheese and chocolate, and beef…all together. It can be donuts or a chocolate bar but as long as it has chocolate in it I have to have it…it could be cheese curls or combos or whatever. It’s the nastiest thing too because I will go to McDonald’s get me a 2 cheese burger meal and then eat 2 chocolate cupcakes and some cheese doodles and be so satisfied, then immediately after feel guilty cuz of course I feel like a fat sow after eating all that crap. Of course these days I have to keep my diet in mind but Monday night I blew it. I weighed myself and the scale said I had gained back 2 pounds, so I swiftly said F this and got me some combos and some chocolate and that was my dinner. And of course right afterwards I felt like crap so I went right to sleep. Then to top of I took the train home and when I got to my stop realized I had left my car and house keys at work on my desk. I tried to get in touch with L but couldn’t. So I had to take the train all the way back to work, grab my keys and then commute back again towards my house. Then all of a sudden on the train ride home I was just so vexed that L couldn’t be reached that I started to fume and cuss him out in my mind. *sigh* what is my issue? SO instead of picking a fight with him which I tend to do when I am pms’ing I just didn’t call him and kept it real brief with him…cuz otherwise I get all testy and it’s not a pretty sight. Needless to say, I’m still craving but I am trying to be good about the food aspect and I have decided I’m not stepping on that scale anymore at least not when I’m pms’ing.

Anyway off of the crazy ranting. I have evaluations to complete and get myself together for this weekend. I have to work our bi-annual Vision Expo show. The VVE (Vision Expo East) is held at Ja.cob Jav.its in NY every march and of course it’s this weekend from Friday – Sunday and I have to work both Friday and Sunday. Blah. Let me get this day cracking.

Stolen Meme

2006-03-28T12:44:00.000-05:00

Yes I have no real post so I stole this meme from MsnHim

1. How old were you the first time? 18
2. Name of your first- ATR
3. Good or Bad? Good
4. Name of the worst and why- OBS - Can we say premature? Can we say 2-second man?
5. Name of the Best and why- LLG - Cuz he has the mean stoke and can handle me oh so well
6. Weirdest place you ever had sex? stadium
7. Favorite position? On top and doggie
8. Ever fake and Orgasm? No - I don't lie on my stuff
9. Would you admit it if the person asked? Hell Yea - let em know they wasnt good - someone needs to tell em
10. Favorite time of day to have sex? At night so I can get a nice and deep sleep
11. Most times you have had sex in one day? 5
12. Same person? YES
13. Ever fantasize about someone other than the one your with? No
14. Restrictions during sex? anal - 3sum with someone I want a long term relationship with
15. Accessories? Yes
16. What? Ice- cream, scarves, Whipped Cream, Ice etc…..
17. Done it in the rain? Yes
18. Done it in a car? Yes
19. Had a Threesome? NO
20. Want to have sex now? Sure would be nice after all that.

whoever wants to respond...feel free.

Weekend

2006-03-26T21:14:00.000-05:00

This weekend was cool. Friday night I hung out with FS and Jules (jules was my roomie in college). We had a nice dinner at their new place and their place was so cute. The colors they painted the walls were so cool and inviting and the whole setup was really nice and comfortable. FS hooked up a salman dinner that was the bomb and we hung out talked about old times, looked at pics, watched VH1 Soul and just had an all around good time.
Saturday - I went to church, sang, worked in treasury and then came home to sleep off the killer headache I had all day. I chatted on the phone with Reenie for most of the night and caught up with some other folk as well before I started reading The Kite Runner for the bookclub meeting. So late....the meeting was sunday so needless to say I stayed up until 5:30 sunday morning to finish the book and it was SOOOO good. That book had me in tears.
Sunday - bookclub meeting...it was nice. There were 5 of us and we had Mexican this time around. And just basically talked about the book and ate away. Desert was supposed to be a apple thingie with ice cream but why they gave us the wrong one that had chicken in it...yeah chicken with ice cream. Eww. lol.
Pictures of all the lovely ladies that came today. And unfortunately my camera died at the worst time so I only got 3 pics.

/Update - Yes yes I FINALLY updated my template. Thanks WillowTree for the help and GC you should be able to leave comments now.

OHHH How you Doing!

2006-03-24T15:14:00.000-05:00

Its Friday and a sista is HAPPY!

And that is cuz I handled my business today and I'm so done with people trying to push their job in my lap...as if I dont already have enough crap to do! So let me tell you. I am a manager...I manage a team of 5 people and plus temps... I deal with our data, I deal with the photo studio, I deal with the production people, I deal with our clients and I deal with the subscribers. So after all is said and done - if it aint in my job listing then I'm sorry I'm not doing it. The Accounting guy is forwarding calls to me - ask N about the bill...how does that fit under what I do again? So after being chewed out by one of our most vocal clients I hauled my ass into my managers office and told her yeah um this aint making it and I'm not doing it anymore - which promoted her to call our publisher who suggests things need to change. Hell yeah! So right now I'm feeling good cuz thats another weight off of my shoulders! Yea!

So all this morning I was helping one of my team members with her work...since yesterday I have been back and forth to her desk helping her figure out her production for her book...helping her with shit that I'm NOT even a pro at myself. She is catching all kinds of attitude and I'm just looking at her like ok...take a breath. I'm not gonna front when I first did what she was doing. I was clueless - but I follow directions WELL and I paid attention when someone showed me something and I played around with it until things started to make sense. So when when I am at her desk she leaves...is gone for like a few minutes. And she does this alot. I am NOT here to do your work...yeah evaluation time is upon us and I got some things to take off my chest.

Anyway don't get it twisted I'm still in a helluva good mood. I booked my hotel room for Jamaica and I'm buying my ticket in a week or so and I'm getting spa prices so I can really treat myself when I am there. I wanna come back loose as a goose!

My weekend plans?

Tonight - One of my roomates from College (jules) and her boyfriend (FS) invited L and I to their new apartment for dinner. In college FS used to cook for the girls and he was throwing down! so I am looking forward to that. It will be nice.
Saturday - church - I have to sing and I have to work treasury again - plus I got these people addicted to Coldstone so now they want me to bring another cake.
Sunday - Gym - and my bookclub meeting.

And somewhere in there I'm trying to catch up on as much sleep as I can muster..
What are you doing this weekend?